The gigantic fantastic opening number of "A Very Potter Musical," sung by Harry (Darren Criss), Ron (Joey Richter), Hermione (Bonnie Gruesen), Draco (Lauren Lopez), Dumbledore (Dylan Saunders), and the rest of the cast. In this song, Harry escapes Number 4 Privet Drive with Ron and goes back to his real home, Hogwarts. The audience also learns of Draco's dreams of getting away from Hogwarts and going to Pigfarts on Mars, what the hell a Hufflepuff is (a particularly good finder), the secret swimming pool, Harry's crush on Cho Chang, and how totally awesome everything is.
LyricsEditHarry: Underneath these stairs I hear the sneers and feel the glares of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.
I can't believe how cruel they are, and it stings my lightning scar to know they'll never ever give me what I want
I know I don't deserve these stupid rules made by the Dursleys here on Privet Drive.
Can't take all of these muggles, but despite all of my struggles, I'm still alive.
I'm sick of summer and this waiting around. Man, it's September, so I'm skipping this town. Hey, it's no mystery. There's nothing here for me now.
I gotta get back to Hogwarts. I gotta get back to school. I gotta get myself to Hogwarts. Where everybody thinks I'm cool.
Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts. To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts. Hogwarts. I think I'm going back.
I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry. Take my firebolt, gonna take to the sky. No way this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome!
I'll cast some spells with a flick of my wand. Defeat the Dark Arts, yeah! Bring it on! And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'cause together we're totally awesome!
Ron: Yeah, 'cause together we're totally awesome!
Ron: It's been so long, but we're going back. Don't go for work, don't go there for class.
Harry: As long as we're together...
Ron: Gonna kick some ass!
Harry and Ron: And it's gonna be totally awesome!
This year we'll take everybody by storm. Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm
Hermione: But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class if we want to pass our OWLs!
Hermione: I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart. Check out my grades, they're 'A's for a start. What I lack in looks, well I make up in heart. And, well, guys, yeah, that's totally awesome!
This year I plan to study a lot
Ron: That would be cool if you were actually hot
Harry: Hey, Ron, Come on. We're the only friends that she's got
Ron: And that's cool
Hermione: And that's totally awesome!
Harry, Ron, Hermione: Yeah, it's so cool, yeah, it's totally awesome!
We're sick of summer and this waiting around. It's like we're sitting in the lost and found. Don't take no sorcery for anyone to see how...
We gotta get back to Hogwarts! We gotta get back to school. We gotta get back to Hogwarts. Where everything is magic-cooooool!
All: Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts. To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts! Harry, Ron, Hermione: I think we're going back
Cho's Possy: Cho Chang! Domo arigato, Cho Chang. Gung Hey Fat Choy Chang. Happy happy New Year, Cho Chang
Cedric: Cho Chang. I am so in love with Cho Chang. From Bangkok to Ding Dang I'll sing my love aloud for Cho Chang!
Malfoy: This year you bet, gonna get out of here. The reign of Malfoy is drawing near. I'll have the greatest wizard career. It's gonna be totally awesome! Look out world for the dawn of the day when everyone will do whatever I say! And Potter won't be in my way, then I'll be the one who is totally awesome!
Goyle: Yeah you'll be the one that is totally awesome!
Hermione: (Spoken) Guys, come on! We're gonna miss the train!
All: Who knows how fast this year's gonna go? Hand me a glass, let the butterbeer flow.
Harry: Maybe at last I'll talk to Cho
Ron: Oh no, that'd be way too awesome!
All: We're back to learn everything that we can. It's great to come back to where we began. And here we are, and alakazam! Here we go, this is totally awesome!Come on and teach us everything you know. The summer's over and we're itchin' to go!
Neville: I think we're ready for Albus Dumbledore!
Dumbledore: Welcome... all of you to Hogwarts. I welcome all of you to school. Did you know that here at Hogwarts we've got a hidden swimming pool?
Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts. Welcome hotties, nerds, and tools. Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts (Spoken) I'd like to go over just a couple of rules
All: Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts. To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts...
Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends
Gryffindors: To Gryffindor!
All: Back to the place where our story begins, at Hogwarts, Hogwarts
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, what's its name?
All: Hogwarts, Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I didn't hear you, kids!
All: Hogwarts, Hogwarts!
Harry: (Spoken) Man, I'm glad I'm back!