The opening song in the musical of the same name (Me and My Dick)


Joey Richter (character)I wake up in the morning and it's nothing new

Run through my mind forever, still I just want you

You're all I want, you're all I need. My love for you just grows the way you do when I love you.

I wanna hold you all night long and cuddle 'til we're blue. I'll hold you in a tight embrace. I know it seems taboo.

But I have to have you with me now. I have to have you quick. I love you more than anything. My dick!

Dick: (Joey):

I like being with you

(I like being with you)

And you like being with me

(You like being with me)

Both: We're just the best of friends as anyone can see. 

People say it's quite unlikely the two of us should stick. But I just tell 'em "Hey, It's me and my dick!"

Joey: (Dick):

We'll stick together

(We'll stick together)

Fight through thick and thin

(Fight through thick and thin)

Both: If we stay side by side, there's no way we can't win.

Joey: (Dick):

Any girl that's out there 

(Any girl that's out there)

Any girl at all

(Any girl at all)

Both: When she gets going with us, she's sure to have a ball!

Dick: (Spoken): Hey! Watch out with that joke. It's an antique!

Both: People say, "How do you do it? How can you be so slick?"

But I just tell 'em, "Hey! It's me and my dick!"

Joey: (Dick): Yeah, there she is

(Oh, I see her)

Leaning on her locker with those big brown eyes

And she's taking off her shirt and her pants

(Yeah, keep going!)

And we're doing a sexy-time dance

She's running her hands

Down my underpants

Both: Buddy, this is our chance!

Sally: (Spoken): Joey!

Both: People say it's quite unlikely the two of us should stick!

But I just tell 'em, "Hey!"

Joey: (Dick):

It's me and my dick!

(I like being with you)

It's me and my dick

(We'll stick together)

It's me and my dick

Dick: (Spoken): Hey, man...

Both: It's me and my dick!